Monday, May 14, 2007

Night Visitor

This was the frosting on the cake of my Mother's Day. Festivities over, progeny scattered and GoodMan off to work, I settled in for a quiet evening of hand sewing and serious horripilation thanks to Tony Soprano. I knew those peyote buds were a bad idea. Deep in the night come the sounds of feline conflict loud enough to rouse me from my bed to break up the brawl. I flip on the bathroom light to find Voodoo squaring off with this character. Those are MY favorite jeans he's roosting on! I snatched up two of the cats and beat a hasty retreat locking Rocky Raccoon in the bathroom. Now what? I locked the two cats in my studio and went downstairs to rearrange the sofa so the only retreat for the intruder is straight out the cat door at the base of the stairs as you descend from the bedroom floor. All barriers in place, I armed myself ridiculously with a cardboard tube, opened the bathroom door with the intention of getting into the tub and prodding my guest out and downstairs. He had other ideas. He had climbed into the open window and wedged himself between the window and the screen. Talk about ten pounds of crap in a five pound sack! I went over to the window and shut it trapping him place and giving me time to come up with an acceptable solution. Fortunately Rocky was pretending I wasn't there and was meditating on the situation quietly. raccoons can be dangerous when provoked or cornered. He scootched higher up on the screen and I opened the lower window with the intention of releasing the screen allowing him to tumble down the side of the house to the waiting trash cans. He was wedged in there so tight I couldn't pull the latch so I took a kitchen knife and sacrificed the screen slashing it wide so he could make an escape. Just as I closed the window again Jim came home early from work with a toothache. It's now going on 3am. "Just in time!" I told him. He sighed, went to the window and had the strength to pull the latch holding the screen in place. Rocky & torn screen tumbled one story down. End of excitement for all of us for one night. DID I MENTION THIS WAS ALL my fault because I left the back door wide open when I went to bed?


  1. I used to think raccoons were cute until there was one in our garage and it hissed at me. You are wise to give it a wide berth. How can you raccoon-proof your house and still let the cats get in and out? You wouldn't want to stumble into the bathroom in the dark and meet one!

  2. Hey, who knew a cardboard tube would ever be a weapon from the studio ----was it a small caliber paper towel or a magmum mailing tube? :}

  3. Was getting back to sleep a wee bit difficult?

    I HATE those late-night wake-up calls!

    Glad everything worked out ok.

  4. Oh ! Thank Goodness I am NOT the only one with these raccoon dilemmas ! We have a family ensconced not too far from the house - I had to get adamant about closing the cat door at night...they were coming in and feasting on the cat and dog food in the house !! They are are canny, cute and intelligent creatures - but too stinky for a house !!

  5. You left the back door open? Don't you have Bears?

    Here in Whateverpeg the authorities trap up to 300 Raccoons every summer.
    The Raccoons love my backyard because I am close to the river and our neighbours (IDIOTS) leave all of their garbage out in convenient little exposed bags!

    Our little garden pool is raided all summer long and the fake turtles and lobster are taken out every night...the kiddie pool is also a favorite and we have to empty it everyday.

    You're very brave and I loved your big plan and escape route. You must have watched a lot of Marlin Perkins when you were a kid.

  6. Yikes. I hate raccoons. Had a similar house invasion about a year ago, but I didn't get photos.

    The darned things stink too. Bet you washed your jeans a couple times!


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