Sunday, December 08, 2013

dear friends and family

I really should check myself before I post here lest you all think I'm coming unhinged. It's all true for a few minutes out of every hour and then I dry my eyes and busy myself anyway I can whether the muse moves me or not. 

There's been a lot of rooting and rummaging. We were big on stuffing things in boxes to be dealt with another day. The days are here my dear. The other day Colin and I drove into Atlanta to take most of Jim's winter and working wardrobe to an outreach program for homeless veterans. I know he would approve.

There was an actual breakfast this morning and Jake has taken up his fathers Sunday mission of making sure I have the NY Sunday times which I parse out over the course of the whole week. I've been working on our deteriorating photo archives the best I know how with an ancient version of Paint Shop Pro dreading the day when the next version of Windows will render it senseless and I have to purchase and learn something new.
Ewok costume by y'rs trly


It's been wet and cold here so I decided an old fashioned spaghetti dinner was in order so while Jesse& Walt cooked meth on the tube, I cooked up a batch of sauce and meatballs that will carry us through most of the week in one form or another. 

Later it was Earl Gray and cinnamon scones in the study for a good long stitch with cats in attendance and  Downton Abbey and then Beloved for background.


Thank you all for your compassion, support and love while I am in sadland. (Thanks for that Steve, your perfect description of this time and place)

10 comments:

Felicity said...

I know you can only navigate sadland (love that description) by yourself but know that you are thought of and held all the time.
xxxx

Ms. said...

Sending a little love over to 'sad-land', and my thanks for your generosity in sharing this time with us.

Nancy said...

:)

Deb said...

One of Jimmy's oldest friends wrote that in a FB message to me when he learned of Jim's death. They had been in regular phone contact in recent months and Steve's steady, good heart always lifted Jimmys spirits. I am deeply grateful to him for that.

Elizabeth Barton said...

It's a terrible place to be, but it sounds like you are really looking after yourself in the best way - I do have a good slide scanner and next time we have a day together you can scan in and adjust any old slides you want.
giving yourself a few moments of grief every hour and then getting on with the day, just thinking of that day and that getting on is the best way to move forward, step by slow step. Plus two good sons not far away.....all my best, elizabeth

Sandy said...

All I can say Deb is to just roll with those waves as they sweep over you. If you fight them they will drown you. So visit in Sadland and know that it's a temporary situation until just Good memories replace your grief. It sounds like you're doing well with your family around and the work you've always got on hand. Good to stay busy- you can think and remember and sew all at the same time. My heart is with you. S

cascadenyc said...

glad times, glad memories of Carmel...as Maurice Chevalier once sang...Ah, I remember it well.

Brenda Groelz said...

Deb, we don't know each other except via Facebook, but I follow your blog and posts. I want to share my condolences and just say that your report of passing your husband's clothes to the vets warmed my heart. That seems like the perfect thing to do.

Vicky aka Stichr said...

I know this sounds cold, but please let Colin have his time for grief also. But also, thank you Colin for taking care of your mother.

For the year after my fathers sudden death, I worried about my mother so much, I had no time for my own sadness.

DonaleeK said...

Deborah,
I just "found" you about an hour ago via fb, and after spending time browsing the photos of your beautiful art I came across this post. I'm so very sorry for your loss, I can only hope you will find calm and peace in sweet memories. Thank you for your raw honesty.