Friday, July 08, 2016

~

The events of the week, national and personal, have been enough to make me want to sign up for a stint in an opium den. Can't stitch, can't type, can't write or read three lines in a row without dropping the reason for opening the book.

 I don't know why, but at some point this morning, I tried to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I got to the second phrase “...and the United States of America” and... nothing. The problem is that I learned it before they slipped the God business in there. The anticipation of the gap was preying on me. I was never able to stay in sync with the rest of the class, always finishing ahead of them. I had one teacher scowl and call me a Heathen.

Fearing early onset Alzheimer's, I tried again with something simpler with deeper roots. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake..” that's the one that kept me from getting a decent night's sleep from the time I was two or three when my aunt, grandmother or mother sat chanting that to me at bedtime waiting for me to join in. I never did.

“If I should die??? wtf?” Problem solved. Do not close your eyes. I don't think I willingly fell asleep until collapse before I was a teenager. Not to mention that whole 'bless this one, and that one' and so on, because if you missed someone, they were dead meat. It wasn't too long before I would deliberately leave someone off the list if I was tired and a looking forward to tomorrow.

My mind properly misdirected with pious drivel, I took another run at the Pledge. I made it to “the Republic” and again, the yawning silence. 

A little voice inside my head said, “We are so fucked up.” I knew that voice. You can always count on Jiminy Cricket for the truth.

Then a TV sound bite chirped, “God, help us!”and Jiminy answered from my disordered mind,

“Do you think I'm a damn vending machine? You put your money in the plate and I fix everything to your satisfaction? Nah! I'm done with your stupid shit.
You'll have to solve this problem on your own. The lesson endeth here."



Amen



7 comments:

Ms. said...

We are all exhausted I think, and my sympathy is with you. This is good if you want a read that makes sense http://www.nybooks.com/daily/2016/07/08/after-dallas-police-shooting-violence-begets-violence/?utm But this is better still https://youtu.be/S2T216XgiO0 Meanwhile, rest as best you can. I love the cricket in your head :-->

Wendy @ the Late Start Studio said...

A good lesson . . . yes.

Liz Ackert said...

Amen

Sue said...

Can I just say I love you? Thank you for this post - it says it all.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

love, us to us and around to and from and then more and
and and and......
stuff is hard

Helen Percy Lystra said...

Luckier with the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. One relative did the line you said but grandma and mother said "... and in the morning when I wake I ask the Lord what path to take." Much better for an impressionable child.

That aside, we are fucked up.

Dee Mallon said...

I couldn't work then either. Wandered around in a stunned silence. Watered the garden. Walked the dog. Sometimes that's all I can do.

how iconic words, cartoon characters, and TV personalities wander in and through our thoughts made for an interesting read