Friday, July 08, 2016


The events of the week, national and personal, have been enough to make me want to sign up for a stint in an opium den. Can't stitch, can't type, can't write or read three lines in a row without dropping the reason for opening the book.

 I don't know why, but at some point this morning, I tried to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I got to the second phrase “...and the United States of America” and... nothing. The problem is that I learned it before they slipped the God business in there. The anticipation of the gap was preying on me. I was never able to stay in sync with the rest of the class, always finishing ahead of them. I had one teacher scowl and call me a Heathen.

Fearing early onset Alzheimer's, I tried again with something simpler with deeper roots. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake..” that's the one that kept me from getting a decent night's sleep from the time I was two or three when my aunt, grandmother or mother sat chanting that to me at bedtime waiting for me to join in. I never did.

“If I should die??? wtf?” Problem solved. Do not close your eyes. I don't think I willingly fell asleep until collapse before I was a teenager. Not to mention that whole 'bless this one, and that one' and so on, because if you missed someone, they were dead meat. It wasn't too long before I would deliberately leave someone off the list if I was tired and a looking forward to tomorrow.

My mind properly misdirected with pious drivel, I took another run at the Pledge. I made it to “the Republic” and again, the yawning silence. 

A little voice inside my head said, “We are so fucked up.” I knew that voice. You can always count on Jiminy Cricket for the truth.

Then a TV sound bite chirped, “God, help us!”and Jiminy answered from my disordered mind,

“Do you think I'm a damn vending machine? You put your money in the plate and I fix everything to your satisfaction? Nah! I'm done with your stupid shit.
You'll have to solve this problem on your own. The lesson endeth here."



Ms. said...

We are all exhausted I think, and my sympathy is with you. This is good if you want a read that makes sense But this is better still Meanwhile, rest as best you can. I love the cricket in your head :-->

Wendy @ the Late Start Studio said...

A good lesson . . . yes.

Liz Ackert said...


Sue said...

Can I just say I love you? Thank you for this post - it says it all.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

love, us to us and around to and from and then more and
and and and......
stuff is hard

Helen Percy Lystra said...

Luckier with the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. One relative did the line you said but grandma and mother said "... and in the morning when I wake I ask the Lord what path to take." Much better for an impressionable child.

That aside, we are fucked up.

Dee Mallon said...

I couldn't work then either. Wandered around in a stunned silence. Watered the garden. Walked the dog. Sometimes that's all I can do.

how iconic words, cartoon characters, and TV personalities wander in and through our thoughts made for an interesting read