I voted today. I'm done.
Sunday, October 27, 2024
~done~
Adventures awry
The day after I got back from New York, there was an email invitation to the Kamala Harris rally in Atlanta. Harris, Obama, Springsteen? Are you kidding me? I spent a half hour checking to see it was a scam. I pounced and rsvp'd.
After several email exchanges, I almost felt the FBI rifling through my file. Then I got the exact address and the logistics for attending. It was on! Lots of rules including NO bags of any kind. No food or water. Here's me assuming we'd be provided for. A whole separate location for ADA pickup and entry. My walking stick was approved. It was a go!
I was quickly treated to Fulton County's finest care. EMTs did their thing. Gave me a big blue Gatorade to finish. I was dehydrated. My bad. I left the house on only a cup of coffee and half a sandwich worried about if and when I'd have access to a bathroom. An EMT said he heard that all the time. Not an unreasonable concern.
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Good to be home from home
This trip to NY was all about family. My brother should open a bed and breakfast—the kind where you feed yourself or go out and sleep as late as you want. I have to buy him a Mr.Coffee to tuck in the pantry for my next visit, but the little delis in the area are superb.
Monday, October 14, 2024
Friday, October 11, 2024
Ah, Friday.
This has been a hectic week that had a very sweet finish.
Before any of that, I'll be out of town next week. If you want threads or cloth and let me know ASAP, Monday will be my last crack at the post office until I get back.
It's been so long since I've traveled by plane that I've forgotten how to pack. New York in October can be boots or sandals and damned if I can decide.
That sweetness? I picked Charlie up from school midday on Thursday and we had all day Friday together. I took him to math tutoring right after school and later that evening we spent an hour reading side by side, each of us lost in our own books. Reading aloud may have
slipped away with babyhood.
Friday morning, I introduced him to acrylic paints. Just playing with the medium and noticing how it's different than Crayola watercolors. What gesso and underpainting are about. How gel medium can change everything. Green and red still make mud. Talk about building your own canvases. Art school stuff.
He wanted to paint what jazz makes him feel. All morning. Then outside for the rest of the day because the weather is so perfect that the
mosquitos moved to Alabama.
A while back, I gave him my old Ipod, still loaded with "my" music. Everything from Little Anthony & the Imperials the Eagles. He found the missing charger and earbuds that worked I set the volume limiter. Such a clever little thing.
All this while I struggled to get used to hearing aids. Finally.
Tuesday, October 08, 2024
Exuberance
Each day starts with breathwork and meditation. Then I light up my phone to see if anyone has hurked on the carpet between my bed and the bathroom. No? Boo-yah!
Monday, October 07, 2024
Charlie Monday
"Charlie Monday" used to be a regular feature on my FB feed but I've decided to keep it here, among family and friends.
Sunday, October 06, 2024
Anchors
I started this on Friday morning, the sixth day of Camilla's disappearance. I was going to use one of the pale stone threads. Keep it all in white, silver, and black. A memorial.
Then I dug through my threads. No stone colors in the box. I jumped directly to the color of hope without any context. I had become numb and was looking forward to getting away. I picked Charlie up at school and spent the night with them.
I blew through Costco on the way home. After a week of impotent anxiety and sleeplessness, it felt good to do something purposeful. Power shopping, not retail therapy. Less than a hundred bucks in less than twenty minutes. There's a win.
I was tired when I got home midday on Saturday. Lolled about. Fed my face. Camped in bed to just make the minutes pass with some mindless TV. Waiting had become a hideous habit.
That's when Camilla appeared at the dish on the floor under the screen. Her back is dark grey, the carpeting dark blue, and the light was afternoon soft. I stared hard to feel what I was seeing and believe it.
It's been a long time since this old body&soul felt such an unbidden thrill. I've banked it hard and now I need to take some time to review. I know there are more moments like this to haul out, dust off and experience again.
I picked the stitching up this morning and the familiar moves brought a measure of comfort. I still didn't sleep well even though Camilla was on the bed with me, by my feet while Salem held down her IKEA pillow at the head of the bed to my right. Sometimes I miss the old California King.
Not everyone is thrilled about her being home. Salem clings and grumbles if Camilla camps too close to me.
Maybe they adapt to change quicker, without the emotional baggage that we carry.
I have been working my way through a long list of Things Adults Must Do. It sucks, but each accomplishment feels like a door opening to something new and good.
I'm making room--headspace--to write.
Goals are good.
Saturday, October 05, 2024
Camilla is home!
There was a much needed washcloth bath, and a nap in the last sun of the day.
Thursday, October 03, 2024
Keep on trying - updated
Monday, September 30, 2024
the mood is dark
There are toxic vibrations here.
A pool chemical plant thirty miles south of us burned. I smelled chlorine the minute I stepped outside, but I didn't realize how bad it was until I got out on the highway.
"The EPA is monitoring air quality for chlorine and related compounds. Chemical levels are unlikely to cause harm to most people."I can't swim in public pools without risking pneumonia. I was leaving a law firm to drive home through this when a juicy migraine settled in.
I hurt my back the other day making a badly aimed sit. You've done it. Seat lower or softer than anticipated. I heard bones crunch and, unless I'm laying flat on my back, hard drugs are looking good.
All this mess on top of the heartache. I drove and tramped the property Saturday and Sunday, as I could. Now I go from window to window, viewing all the places I normally see her. And here, right next to my stitching chair is where she spent most of her time.
Sunday, September 29, 2024
Camilla
We haven't seen her since early Saturday. A large chunk of our hearts is not where she's supposed to be.
Friday, September 27, 2024
The Fart in a Mitten
Early this morning Helene finally dragged her damp skirts over us.
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Waiting
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Subterfuge
All these men in my life. 'Nuff said.
Yesterday I had the rare privilege of bearing witness to talent. Can't help that it's Charlie.
We were free-forming with a pile of Lego pieces drawn from the giant box with half a cubic yard of Lego in it, some of them were Colin and Jakes.
I spoke to the computer and asked for some music. It gave up Paul Simon. Charlie was immediately attentive because he likes story songs and Paul Simon articulates his poetry.
The kid started singing along to a song I'm pretty sure he's never heard. I'm just listening. We get to the verse:
“Sail on, silvergirl, sail on by, your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way”
And I get goosebumps because he's taken to the lower register of the harmony and was faking the words precisely in tune for the whole song.
He's become involved in the chorus at school, so I said, "You know, the chorus teacher might ask you to sing alone in front of the class one day." If you've had the experience, you know how impactful it is.
"So?" He shrugged and continued working on a croc-ship. The soul of blase.
Next time I'll ask Alexa to play some Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Nate King Cole. Maybe he'll be ready by the time Michael Buble retires.
I specialize in party boats and parade floats.
Thursday, September 19, 2024
~truth~
This bundle arrived late yesterday. Thank you A!
Wednesday, September 18, 2024
Recovery
This is my third confirmed go-round with COVID-19. Each has been markedly different which stands to reason as the virus evolves. Comparatively, this one was lightweight. A solid week of juicy head cold and loss of taste and smell. But, as the days passed I realized that I might be experiencing a degree of brain fog. A quite useful state if you intend on meditating. Reaching nothingness is not easy for a normally busy, creative mind.
These days, it's been all too easy to slip into a state of too-stoned-to-move, staring off into space. I got mad about it yesterday and busied myself. Routine chores were the easiest. Laundry, dishes. Then I settled in to try pushing colors and shapes around.
Thursday, September 12, 2024
Solid rest
I spent the entire day yesterday reading. At first, it was just a matter of not getting sucked into the TV news. Then, this book grabbed me like a sticky burr.
Monday, September 09, 2024
The heal
First light in the studio is the best for stitching but it still hurts to wear my 2.50 cheaters for more than ten or fifteen minutes.
Putting on shoes? Where do you think you are going? |
Saturday, September 07, 2024
Make plans...
Thursday, September 05, 2024
The week that wasn't
Monday, September 02, 2024
Working updated
Labor Day. What else would I be doing? Most of my working life, I've worked for companies that offered their customers 24/7 service.