the Blues

 

Not that kind, although it would be easy enough to assume.

I have a couple of thread commissions to get to. 

Blues and their close cousins. Swinging in blues country, border to border. From the cool sky seen through the treetops to the purple down a morning glory's throat.

Tomorrow, I'll get out all the blues I have and make some test stains on this, that, and some thread, some of that Perle cotton I've never dyed before. 

If all goes well, everything will get rain rinsed. With the skirts of two hurricanes dragging over us, it's going to be a while before we catch another sunny day. Still warm enough to get the job done.

Don't tell the other colors, but blue is my favorite...today.

 It's a lot like garlic. A little can go a long way. 

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But every so often, I go off the very deep end with it. Freefalling.

How could we not? It's everywhere we look, if we just open our eyes.

 How blue are you?

addendum

The streetlights and the traffic light over the intersection stuttered once and failed when the truck glanced off the power pole at the crest of Main Street at the top of the quarter-mile glide down into town.

Engine dead, headlights blind, inertia carried it forward and gravity gave it wings. 

The sky's blue hour pulled the last purple edge behind it and, with the glare of the streetlights gone, Bea looked up at the sweeping arc of stars aligned in the blackness over her head. 

In the moments after the lights went out, there was a three-count before the fireflies and crickets struck up a round of applause and then fell back to the serious business of finding husbands and wives before dawn.

from "The Monkeytown Murders"

the silent roar of chaos

 

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I can't think of the expression, something about the hubris of making plans, having some kind of order to build one's life around. 

There was a time when we could count on the seasons, man-made holidays and traditions to set our thinking on an orderly path. Now we wander.

I have piles of potential on the floor around the stitching chair as if keeping it all in view will have some effect on my mood. It has not. Shortly, I'm going to scoop it all up and shove it onto a shelf in the closet. 

Worry is a pest. I only worry about things I can't control. Did I really write the word "only"??

And worry is as much a waste of emotional energy as guilt, giving or taking. Which path to follow?

Thinking about my friends in Florida. Elders that I'm too chicken to call because each time, my "How are you?" is answered by a 45-minute litany of medical gyrations. 

Thinking of a dear friend battling cancer, Distant friends in fire danger's path. In the path of dementia, vile beast. 

And my biggest fail. The past week has proven to me that I cannot do both. Work full time at night and be Charlie's copilot in virtual first grade by day. But that will be out of my hands shortly. His school opens on Wednesday.

 I stand down. 

Until I'm needed again.

Within an hour

 She's trying to tell us something.

the way it is now

 

Just a few minutes for stitching because that's all there is now. Life returning to one of purpose outside of self. I'd gotten pretty spoiled and don't want to dwell on how much time I wasted. 

I have to manage my rest again. No more "nap when you feel like it". Back to the guided meditations that knocked me cold for whatever fifteen minutes I have to use.

Proctoring virtual first grade is a lot easier than the endless cycles of feeding, burping, changing, and napping from when he was tiny. Interesting and challenging for both of us. After a brief homeroom zoom, we have Music. 

caesura

 I've just finished taking pictures of the new sets of threads and need to rest my eyes. 

Looking at Salem is always a relief from too much color. A pause.

It's only August but Summer seems to be holding her breath. What next? Fresh Hell? Mayhem or...

Sweet peace, gentle water, cloth, thread, children laughing, good music. 

A nice buzz, cold lemonade, a good read. A good night's sleep on cool sheets.

 I hope you can get some of what you need, wherever you are in this world. Peace and out for a while. Stay safe and strong.