owning up

I have to think about why my totem mark, the gator head, turned to left for the first time without bothering me.

This was composed over the last half of the Braves - Mets game yesterday while Jim napped on the couch.  Yeah, I napped through the first five and wish I has missed Jason Heyward getting hit in the face with a fastball.

 Composing in cloth (or any medium) came as a surprise to me. Apparently it doesn't take heart at all because my heart is busy elsewhere.

I brought the task basket downstairs, spent a half hour cleaning and sorting, just winding spools, putting pins back in the little tomato and trying to  let go of other cares for a few minutes.

 The lizard brain took over selecting the softest, tenderest shreds of cloth one at a time. Basting them onto a very soft vintage damask table napkin. Shapes, colors, symbols and layout appeared, just running on fumes.

Whether or not this turns out successfully (and I even question what that means now) is irrelevant. Making was what I needed in that moment.  As much as I wished it was possible to separate my daily life from my creative life, reality steps in, so a brief explanation is in order.

For family and friends. Now that Jim has let his distant family know, I will share here that we have been in the beginning steps of doing battle with cancer. There have been many tests and scans and scopes with no firm diagnosis or treatment plan as yet. We give thanks for his great doctors with  compassionate staffs and good medical facilities close to home. 

The battle is on and we are up to the fight.  I don't intend on documenting everything here, just keeping those who care about us in the loop. Any and all prayers to any and all powers are welcome.