to extremes

 

The light is cloudy, winter afternoon, so, not optimal but I didn't want to dick around with filters. 

This red feels like a living thing, shifting from warm to cool enough to keep me from turning away. It's not my favorite place on the light spectrum. Is "Easily Incited to Violence"  a color? 

Yes, I believe it's here.

I'm thinking about how to convey and refine the message.

Blue/white stars wandering, lost.

Some stars colored by a prism. 

I'm going to do some sampling before I commit to the linen.

I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday morning. A blend of domestic and external stressors combined to rock me. I let it happen, and turned to the kindest shoulder {Pokemon indeed!}. 

Took a minute, got my shit together and lit out for the country. If it were closer, the magic might wear thin.

We doodled. Listen to records. Played with Nibbler. Played poker. He's better at poker than Scrabble since I don't show him mercy anymore. 

Once the whole family was home, we watched the film "Flow". 

Beautiful, deep, moving. You'll thank me.

my mark

 

Small to great, the work of my hands,

...and the work of my heart. They are all there is to know about me.

Soothe, smooth, & salve

There's nothing like finding a lost tool to right an off-kilter day for me. I had given the little Ginghers up for lost, missing a month or more. 

The post office was busy and the parking lot was cramped. People pulling in and out of tight places, hurrying, but I am the person you curse at when I'm parking. Let's call it deliberate. 

I learned to drive on a huge, 1953 Chevy B210, thankfully, one of the first automatics. During the one or two ride-alongs before my road test, my father stressed smooth moves and signaling. Gas and brake as if the Queen of England was having tea in the back seat. Driving that way, in that old car - old even for the 70's - gave it dignity. Stand back as La Bamba oozes into view! I wish I had pictures of it. 

This day, I had to hit the brakes suddenly for some fuckery behind me and the little scissors slid out from under the driver seat. Glad to be in boots and not barefoot.

After a long, stressful day, and a late cup of coffee, I was looking forward to some writing time. There were clues to run down. Being in the mood for writing is not something to sneer at.

Salem is not a lap cat and will struggle violently if you try to cuddle her. Last night, she climbed onto my lap and lay across the keyboard before I could slide it out from under her. Nothing started, nothing lost.

I had The Bear on in the background and, even though I had strawberry shortcake for dinner, it made me hungry again.

After the morning from hell trying to book some last minute travel plans for Colin, an intriguing call took up another chunk of the day.

I hate to be coy here, but there may be an opportunity for a show with room for some of my major pieces in the future. A big space for some big work.

I spent the rest of the afternoon wondering what was where?

I loved Jude's birthday portrait. I'm finding that when one spends a lot of time alone, this is not a bad way to remember who you are. 

the open door

Sorry about locking the door on everyone. A few of my sites had a flood of traffic originating in Singapore and if you drill down into the IP addresses, China. Fuck 'em. 

They can't steal what I've been sharing freely all these years. So, open doors and windows.

~~~~~~👹~~~~~~~~

I found the right cloth for the lining. More of that mottled, pink commercial batik. The cloth itself is a very tightly woven cotton with a sheen that reminds me of chintz. Smooth and strong. 

Just what you need so stuff will obey gravity and not snag on the way down. And the piece is just big enough. A sign to break out the Singer 99K and get on with it. 

Distracting myself? It's the work of my day. This and churning words. 

I didn't trust myself to call anyone today. Screamed curses are easy to ignore.

Whispered threats, now......

 

working cloth never rests

 It's raw cold and raining. The lawn is alive with little brown birds so tiny you can't see them until they move. Forget taking pictures. All of them bossed by a gang of cardinals. I really need to hire a landscaper. It's gotten away from us.

From the River Basket, a stack of mostly finished and a few never will be. 

And this, reborn from a false, unsatisfying start. The last remnant of Jim's jeans. Real tools hung from that loop once. This is front and back. So far.

A woman can't have too many pockets. This will be a pocket with two or three pockets.

Somewhere in my closet, there's a pair of jeans that will be sacrificed for the strap of just the right length. There will be beads.

Now that I have the heavy hauler with room for overnight stuff, books, and my Chromebook, I want something just for my wallet, keys, and cell. 

And a knife. Glasses. Some paper. A pen. A damask napkin. Lip stuff. Gum. Aspirin. A lighter. Some lotion. My Tarot. Loose change. PENNIES!

What do you always carry? 

Now I have to find the right fabric to line it with. Slowly.

And writing. For hours. 

Lost in the delicious now. Clean, warm, dry, fed and grateful. 

Taking a stand

I don't care for football at all. Even watching the Superbowl for the (maybe) clever commercials has become more than I'll tolerate. You can usually find all of them online even before they air. Half-time shows? Prince took it with him, never to return. 

Poor New Orleans. When I heard that the Shitweasel was planning on making an appearance, that sealed the deal. That petty putz ruined a lot of watch parties.

 Instead, I sat with this and re-watched the Saturday Night Movie.  

When I've decided that there are enough stitches, I'll sew it to the back of my Dixie Mink. 

We are a messy nation. 

Nowhere near under any god. 

I have a feeling that Karma is feeling a little put out and is about to tap Kali on the shoulder for backup.

Meanwhile, as my northern friends shovel fresh snow, the creek folk have opened Froggy Club Med in my pool. It feels really early for the season. 

Passings

The Elders are leaving us to figure shit out on our own. Handing off the keys.

Wednesday dawn, there was a repeat of last week's call for EMS only this time, there was no return trip.

My friend and neighbor passed away around 3 in the morning. Ninety-one years old this past January, Joyce was fiercely independent. Lived alone and took her '93 Cadillac out almost daily. 

She despised the rancid clown currently despoiling the White House and we'd start each day with a phone call relaying what we'd heard or read and have a cackle about what we'd do to him, given half a chance.

Also this week, Mary McBride left us. Mary was the founder and director of Focus On Fiber, Florida Style. FOF was a retreat for textile artists held at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach FL. 

Over the years, I was fortunate to attend several of these retreats where the core of most my major textile pieces began and the first 35K of my novel fell into place. The time, space, and pampering that Mary coordinated made all the difference for my creative trajectory. The Bronx ever in her heart, she was a bold original.

I will miss them both.

 

hanging on

to this scrap of cloth. 

Breathing. 

Working at seeing all of this from the highest level possible. Knowing that there are so many other people in positions of action who are doing more than just worrying and fretting. All I have is my voice and I will not be quiet.

I don't need to know how the sausage is made. 

Gaza will end him. This weak excuse for a man has stepped into a nest of vipers.

There are warriors who have lived with their backs to the wall for so long, that they no longer have a concept of personal danger or loss. The only thing that keeps them going is rage, and now, they have a big fat target. Even that would be unsatisfying.

PS This afternoon there were demonstrations in Austin, Sacramento, DC, New York, and many more. They were peaceful, and passionate, with no police involvement that I saw. What media coverage there was seemed spontaneous. No network talking heads, even in DC.

Closer to my heart, got my moonlight back.

 I picked it up yesterday from the jeweler. A month ago I stopped there to get a watch battery replaced. A young clerk offered to clean my rings. She looked at this one with a loupe and found that the setting was so worn down that only two prongs and some grime kept the stone in place. Nice save.

refuge

 
Everyone who was sick has bounced back. I'm fine, but

it was a fraught weekend for many people and there's little relief in sight. If anyone is interested, email me.  I have an action plan.

 This afternoon, it's going to be near 70 and I will be outside getting my vitamin D and calling elected representative who need to be shitting their pants over the level of fury and anxiety their constituents are experiencing.

For those of you whose income hinges on the stock market, I'm sorry, but I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be able to pay my mortgage if musk decides that I don't deserve the money that I contributed to Social Security since 1968.

As an aside, I despise the word deserve. It hinges on someone's estimation of another's worth. 

I also have been spending too much time imagining the kind of punishment I'd like to wreak on those who have put us in fear and anger. I revisited a passage from Prophets Tango and found it to be unsatisfying. Like Anna said, "It wasn't fair. His lack of suffering."

I wasn't raised in any physical violence aside from a rare passing swat with a spaghetti sauce-covered wooden spoon. There was a fair amount of emotional violence until I learned what that was worth. Now I daydream of swinging a cutlass. One in each hand.

I'm seriously considering getting chickens as soon as I can get a proper coop built and I won't be making pets of them. I like chicken and chicken shit is very good for the dirt. 

Potatoes are easy too. 

For the morning I'm going to just breathe, remember how to fly, and spend time with some untroubled beings.

 

Friday with a twist

 

I usually pick him up from school on Friday, timing the drive to get me there in time to get in the line of cars, set an alarm, and catch a nap. Not today. Jake called at 6:30. 

He woke up sick enough with fever and cold symptoms to be kept home so I pushed up my schedule by half a day and saw sunrise on the highway for the first time in many years.

Not sick enough for him to stay in bed, we chatted and gamed and watched cartoons. The kitten medicine was potent for both of us. 

He was back in bed by lunchtime so I brought him a dish of Ritz crackers and a cut-up apple, always a hit. Only this time he said, "Why do these crackers taste like dust?"

Hmmm.

 As the day wore on and the Motrin wore off, body aches and fever set in and sleep took charge. 

They've all had Covid before. I haven't had anything but a flu shot for two years and had a bout of Covid myself back in September. Que sera, sera. 

Oblivious to all our concerns, Nibbler chased her tail and fetched her feather toys for us to throw. Like a good little labrador, she's all mouth and curiosity. She nearly made off with Temperance and was not about to let me do a reading then. I'll do one in a bit. 

On my way home this morning Red perked up her ears and stood by the fence to say hello. I've been giving her a double tap on the horn for two years. Her people recently removed the aggressively jingoistic political banner from the street gate. I hope they choke to death on buyers remorse, but then who will feed Red?