Monday, December 31, 2018

the new year

I'm up in there just to the right of the window, working. Will be at the stroke of midnight. Hopefully, it will be a quiet night. I have opted to work on New Year's Eve for many years. No extra pay, since it's not a federal holiday, but it keeps me busy. Keeps me from brooding.

Jimmy and I almost never went out on the Eve. I'd never been to Times Square for New Year's Eve and he warned me that unless I was up to peeing in an alley in sub-zero weather with ten strangers cheering me on, I wouldn't like it.
The last time we went out on New Years was a toga party in the late 70's before the kids were born. Who gives a party in New York, in January that calls for wearing bedsheets? The company was strange, the drugs too copious, and the next day, we were both just grateful to have arrived in the new year alive.
After that, our celebrations were cozy and private.

My broodiness around the New Year stems from my parent's ongoing war. They always called a truce a week or so before Christmas, but I could be sure that the hostilities would resume on New Year's day or soon thereafter.

Back when they still entertained guests, I could tell the next morning what the day would bring. If the ashtrays were all emptied, glasses collected and washed, kitchen window left open to air the place out, I knew that my mother had been grinding her teeth and seething over the work alone rather than retire. It often seemed that the old man would appear mid-morning, having been elsewhere overnight. 




So, through the years, I busy myself with this pass of hours knowing that the new day will bring business, as usual. 

But these days, changes - new attitudes, new directions, progress of any kind - are entirely up to me.


6 comments:

Ms. said...

This year it was insane. thousands gathered in the rain for hours and hours. No backpacks or umbrellas allowed, Cops called in from all over the State and drones on rooftops ready to attack. Yikes, right? I went once when I was 16 with a boyfriend and another couple...in the fifties. Tame and easy enough. We drove in from Westchester, had drinks and snacks at the Lexington Hotel. Drove back. It was raining then too and I recal my dress shrunk and mohair sweater stretched down below my knees. I went to the Zendo for the Annual ringing silent intentions ritual and after some sweets. Home by 9ish safe and cozy. Happy this year and may there always be business as usual and ease.

Ms. said...

PS adore the glass Buddha with fish!

Deb Lacativa said...

It's an old photo, but I've dug them out of safekeeping to put them back in plain sight.

In the late 60's I lived through a couple of pre-Christmas weeks in a snowy Manhattan and couldn't wait to get on the train for home. It was pretty to look at but the crowds felt so desperate.

I'm glad you were well enough to go to your celebration!

Joanne S said...

I watched the Great British Christmas Baking Shows on Netflix and then went to bed.
I guess I might have made it past midnight--I usually do as I am a "night owl".

On MSNBC they said the crowd was wearing diapers as there were NO BATHROOMS available in Times Square. And that was at 6pm. The news host was horrified. Me too.

I think you and I had the same sort of situation at home growing up.

Judy Sall Fiber Art said...

New Years Eve has always been something I prefer to sleep thru... used to love going for walks New Years' Day when most were sleeping off the celebration from the night before. Love those new walking shoes... hope you put them to good use this year! Happy 2019, and may the year be full of creative joy!

Dee Mallon said...

made it to midnight awake, which K and I haven't for the last several years. love the stories here.