fun & filth

For all of you who do NOT waste your lives and time over at that post hole called FaceBook, I'm gleaning only the best on the days that not much is happening around here.
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A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?
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In other news. I made a soap sack to put bits and slivers into for my shower. I have a vast collection of those little soap pills they give out at hotels. Some smell quite nice. They are all in the bag now. And speaking of hot showers.

 After a string of days in the Georgia pollen shitstorm (over 8000 today), I took Jack Flash to the DONT TOUCH ME OR SPEAK TO ME car wash. You know the kind. Wave your card, they wave you through. Spanking clean and shiny, I cranked up the rock and took the long straightaway home, heavy on the gas. 

On FB I wanted to say "This was more fun than a fast fuck in a hot shower" #veryeasilyamused.  But I censored myself. You, my friends, get me full blast.

something for everyone

Spent the whole afternoon yesterday, winding in a trance while I watched a poor choice of entertainment. The Netflix series "Ozark" examines the predicament of a seemingly ordinary family enmeshed in the workings of a drug cartel. It just keeps getting deeper and darker. I bailed.

Of course, I couldn't find the imaginary stash of cardboard spools so I used the last of my business cards. Put to good use, finally.

the Cone set

It will be a few days before I sort these out, curate some new sets, and get them posted for sale.

We are under a county mandated lockdown. I haven't been inside any retail establishment since 3/11 so it remains to be seen when I'll be able to ship these. But if anything grabs your fancy, I will be taking reservations against the better times the near future will bring us, if we all take good care.

And this for some solid hilarity 

The world has caught a virus so I’ve written you a poem We need your help to cure it, so stay the fuck at home. And if you have got twelve kids or you’re living on your own, Lock it down and isolate, and stay the fuck at home. If you think you’re not at risk here, you’re living in a dome, It spreads faster than a hookers legs, so stay the fuck at home. I need the gym, I need the beach, I hear you bitch and moan. You need to grow a brain cell and stay the fuck at home. But I feel fine, I don’t feel sick. I’ll go out on my own. How thick are you, you selfish prick. Please, just stay the fuck at home. From LA through to Berlin, and Wuhan through to Rome, There’s people dying every day, so stay the fuck at home. If you need to contact family, use Facebook, Skype, or phone, We’ve got the fucking internet, so stay the fuck at home. The only way to slow it down is isolate, not roam. Please help the world get back on track and stay the fuck at home. Stay the fuck at home, stay the fuck at home. Don’t you be a fucking dick, please stay the fuck at home.

Come on, sunshine.

75 and climbing

By the time I finished spooling up all the DMC I had, it was in the mid 80's and blazing bright. I really will have to speak to the management about putting up the new tent back there.

Your eyes do not deceive you. That drift of white laid out on the table is a vintage, damask tablecloth. It has a slight scorch mark and so went unloved a long time on eBay until I snatched it up for a song.

Today, it makes its debut as the 2020 dye season Table Mopper. The ground cloth for whatever dye fests may occur at the Lawrenceville Frankenstein Dyeworx in the coming months. At the end of the season, the cloth may become the centerpiece of a larger work, or I might hack it up and sent the bits 'round the world.

Here the innocent spools shiver in the secret sauce, waiting their turn on the table.

Joining them, a handful of strips of muslin from a long-abandoned log cabin project. Color wouldn't hurt. The carrier this time? A box of buggy oatmeal from deep in the pantry. Expiration date? I didn't look.

The victims, born again, all crusty with salt, sugar, dye, oatmeal. The cone carried the last yards into battle because I ran out of winding cards. The color, on the bottom, will be a surprise.

They are out there now, under the stars and a bare sliver of moon, owls serenading.

I'll wash, rinse and dry them tomorrow.

for now, I'm so done.

the fineness of the day

Wild violets, I think. They are everywhere in the upper reaches of the lawn where there is sunshine. I never noticed them before.

Got out for a quick drive to drop off some things to a friend who shouldn't go out for a while.

The action in the parking lot reminded me of  "Let's Sell/Buy Drugs" from way back in the day.  Two cars parked ten feet apart, facing in opposite directions. Drivers at the wheel. The principals get out, each proceeds to the opposite vehicle's trunk, keys handed over by the respective drivers. Goods and cash inspected and approved. Transfers made, keys returned and off we go, whistling.

I've been cranking out kitchen stuff between calls, using up the odds and ends of cotton string. They make good potholders, placemats, dish scrubbers - whatever.

How wonderful to be so plain, so solid, so useful.

I settled in to do some stitching, watch a little TV. Sweetie jumped up on the bed, turned over the little river basket and proceeded to examine the contents.
She has a seething resentment over her lack of thumbs.

Sweetie joined us in 2009 and is enjoying her status as Dowager Queen of the household. We indulge her every whim.

The coyotes are barking out in the woods behind the house and all three cats hover nearby, pretending to sleep, one eye open.

Makers make

Charlie did this drawing over a year ago. It's been hanging on the refrigerator all that time. In crayon, I tried ironing it onto the fabric but nothing transferred, so I'm stitching right through the paper with the idea that I'll be able to pick or wash it away when I'm done.

Bad idea? Hasty? Just a few small rebellions when you're stuck in the house and time seems both short and long.

I don't know why I was being coy about where and how much purple to use. Now that I think about it, if I wind up in the pest house at least they will remember the lady with purple hair if they can't remember or manage my name.

The whole time my husband was in treatment for cancer and when he was here at home, I was with him. More often than not, holding his hand to the last moments and beyond. The thought of someone I love and care about having to be in the hospital alone is more than I can bear to think about. Any and all distractions are welcome.

And to the point of being out of time or coy, I give you this.

the hardest part

It's been twelve days since I spent the day with Charlie. He was sick with a small fever a week ago Monday - back before a fever was terrifying. It was gone Tuesday morning, and he was fine and has been fine, but by the school rules, he had to stay home so I spent the day with him. It was the first day that he's missed school all term.

I didn't know then it would be the last visit we'd have for a while since we've all agreed that it's safest for everyone to limit our circles of contact.

We facetime, but I get the feeling that young children expect more from an electronic device than facetime with Nana can give. There are no big hugs, no silly business or fart noises. I miss him terribly. There is so much I still have to teach him. Learn from him.

I'm having a good cry along with "Yentl". Each and every time I watch it. 

Warm winds

I got out in the sun today and got the rest of the bigger sticks off the lawn in preparation for the long-overdue first mowing. By 230 it was nap city.

All the windows were open. Soft warm breezes were lurking in the curtains. The deep chimes on the high deck were very soft, almost apologetic. I didn't drift off, I dropped like a rock. Good sleep.

When I woke up, I realized how warm it was. 79 degrees out at the peak today. Warm enough to start thinking about the first dye fest of the season. It may not happen tomorrow, but soon.

As I work the phones tonight, I'm winding thread between calls. Tonight, I'll dream in color.

And did you see these wonders? Huzzah The Bucklings of the Hill!

afternoon drift

At first, I wished that I had planned this one better. Now, I'm forced into a way to insert some really rich profanity. White on white, maybe.

I never really minded the hermit life because it was by choice and I knew there was all manner of crazed doings going on out in the world- parties, parades, flash mobs, drive bys- you know, Life.

Now it's disturbing. Our town has a curfew.

I don't want to dwell on imagined outcomes, but I inherited a lot of hard times angst from that same grandmother who taught me embroidery. Not that she ever complained.

They did what they had to do. Tenant farmers during the Great Depression. She would take slivers of soap, soften them, then press them together into a multi-colored lump to keep on soaping. Teabags used all day long. Real rag rugs.

 This morning I set up online shopping for two different grocery stores. It took two to find the things I wanted.

It was good to see the stores limiting the quantities of things people can buy. You pick a time window, they bag it up, email you when it's ready, you pull up and they drop it in your trunk.

Two twenty pound bags of their favorite dry food and another forty pounds of cat litter was the find.

Knowing that at least Salem (the black and white one) and this demon know how to kill stuff and go to the bathroom outside is comforting.  He gets very pissy when I try to pry him out of the sewing chair.

It's my day off. Stop looking at me like that.

biding my time

I learned very young to never say "I'm bored" out loud or you'd find yourself sitting at the kitchen table polishing silverware, cleaning the parakeet's cage with a toothbrush and Windex, or hand whisking the stair carpets - all three floors worth. There is no end of tedious housekeeping tasks that a five-year-old can do if her Grandmother hears those dread words. Being bored was unacceptable.

Aside from forced child labor, I still have Nelly to thank for introducing me to needle, thread & hoops.

So here's the nearest reading pile. TV has too much temptation to drop in the news. We all know what's going on and what we need to do, I hope. Not that I'm putting my head in the sand. Just not letting the sand clog my eyes, ears, nose, and heart.

More about things to read soon.

Thanks for the tip, Dee. The heating pad is my new best friend.

No particular injury to my back, but my job (Yay! I still have one and will as long as there are lawyers) and my avocation keep me in a chair way too many hours and I'm paying for that.

I miss walking and hope to get back to it soon. New sneakers arrived just the other day.  I went to the park yesterday, but couldn't even find a place to park for the families with SUVs fulla kids. Good for them. I have a yard that needs picking up and a street to stroll.

This, a reminder of Things I Used to Do and Look Forward to Doing Again, soon as Spring starts thinking about Summer. Big and Batik.

Show us your drawers!

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 Tattoos, haircuts, and a cat who believes he's a dog.

tense times

He pulled the dusty cassette player off the shelf. I cleaned it, put in batteries but the tape playing mechanism was dead. The radio worked though and he was spellbound.

We had a great long day together today. His school has closed for the upcoming weeks. But I won't have much hand in his care.

 I'm going to welcome Spring here at home, lessening my exposure as much as possible. I guess, statistically, I'm in the risk group. I spent the big chunk of January with a respiratory infection that had me pissing myself with every damn cough.

So, not much will change. I work from home as it is. Have little to no social life and no travel plans to cancel.

I'm a little annoyed that it's probably smart to not pick up a book that I held at the library. I hate e-books, but I guess I better get over that.

Like everyone, hard emotions are running deep and wide. Last night I put on the movie "Yesterday". A piece of fluff to play in the background while I stared angrily at the manuscript, not really focusing. Even though the film is overly sweet and gently lame, hearing bits and pieces of the Beatles music was enough for me to leave it on. Then, there came a scene that hit me in the heart like a brick and I cried full bore, ugly for ten minutes. If I'd been in a theater, I would have been asked to leave.

I may need to do that daily for a while. You?

candy

Eye candy is all I have to offer for the moment. Soul candy is what a lot of us are craving, but that's going to take some time to uncover.

My disappointment in the way the patriarchy has swept aside the best-qualified candidate is like a toothache. I can only hope that the smarter of the two old white men living on borrowed time will call her to be the VP.

Here the tangible work from the past year. A few other things, those crossovers with text, have gone on to new homes.

The shirking lizard-brained part of me wants to start a new piece, but I have a lot of other things that need my attention now. Maybe, if I get quarantined.

Springs dreaming

Other people break out seed catalogs and plan gardens.

I inventory my dyes. To my sweet surprise, I do not need to buy a thing.

Raven, Silk Black, Gunmetal, Bronze. The blues- Deep Space, Sapphire, Electric, Turquoise, Peacock, Blueberry, Robin's Egg...more. Olive, Avocado, Curry, Pagoda, Scarlet, Pomegranate, Sun, Golden, Lemon, Grape, Red Violet...   There's more but I'm dizzy!