nailing it

If you are any kind of creative every now and again you'll step back from what you are up to and go “Yes!” or “Good!” or, in my case “Fuckin' Aaa!” and you'll throw down the tools and get that little chill and be thirsty for a celebration because you nailed it. You won't even feel the need to drag anyone into the moment for their agreement. This moment is for you alone.

Last night I was pondering the demise of the writers group that I've been going to for a little more than a year now. The two founders have drifted away. Life, of course, must take precedence over follies like gathering over bad food with snotty waiters and embarrass ourselves and each other with our attempts at writing and so the group has floundered. It's been a learning experience and my only semi-social connection to the world since my husband died. I will be looking for another bunch of similarly plagued individuals and if I can't find what I'm looking for, I'll found my own.

So I made the mistake of looking over a bit of the book I've been working on for almost a year. I worked on it constantly while I was at the FOF retreat last year in FL. 

The writing was puffy, awkward and self-indulgent. I was bummed thinking how I thought I was closing in on a rough draft when all I really had behind me was clouds crap. I sulked and went to bed. The last thing I remember was that there were a couple of lines out of some twelve pages that were really good. Keepers.

In the dark hour before waking, on a day when I didn't have to get up, I turned that chapter inside out in my head. I had a sit down with each of the characters. Assessed their needs and their wants. Established who knew what, when and why it mattered. Addressed the problems and found answers, all before ever putting my toes on the rug.

I've got this and knowing it feels great.

spring behind my back

Spring is here for real. I want to get my mailbox garden up and running as soon as I can. It's a scraggly mess this time of year. No pictures please.

The year is a almost a quarter passed. Although I've been feeling the urge to do some stitching, there has been no time for quiet, meditative activity. If I sit still and quiet for five minutes, I'm likely to be asleep. Lately some days are eighteen hours long, but I get to spend most of those hours in good company..

 As you can see Charlie is open to any style sensibility. A baby's boundless sense of discovery and fun is infectious. Yesterday he was oblivious to Elfie on his head while I laughed until I cried.


 On the "House to Home" front, I was able to get a large reduction in the mortgage. For those of you have a VA mortgage, look into an IRRRL rate adjustment. Soon this is going to translate into more free time for me and then who knows what I'll be up for.

ps- these days of adorableness on the quilt are over. He's doing the Worm at 5 mph and gets up on all fours, rocking back and forth, looking for first gear. Any minute now.

That added hour

Spring swings wildly these past few days between 20s and 60s, snow flurries, freezing rain and this morning, bright sunshine. I couldn't focus on what I wanted to do first beyond just looking. seeing. looking some more. The sun was blazing through the studio windows this morning. I pulled art out of storage and cheered up the Fierce wall.

        untitled works  by Jude Hill, Grace  Forrest and me.

You're gonna need a bigger box!

I'm packing up a box of stuff to represent me at the next Focus on Fiber event coming up at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach, FL. All this stuff will be for the attendees to pick through and use in their projects during the retreat and classes.

If anyone from the ATL is driving there this year  and would consider delivering it for me...I can pack it even heavier! Get in touch!  You'll get first picks after Mary!

I had a terrific time last year. It was a seminal week for me. Although my fiber project "Fierce" didn't pan out, the outline of my novel  in progress did, and I'm forever grateful to everyone who made that week possible.

(Fierce is not a total loss. It hangs in hope on the studio wall. A reminder that you can't always get what you want  ) This was our cabin banner...

house vs. home

Can you see the house? Barely. That's how I've been thinking about it lately - as little as possible. Instead of seeing it as a home, I've been seeing it as a liability, a money pit.

Since we moved here in '98 it's been a classic case of the shoemaker's children going barefooted. In this case, the carpenter's house getting raggedy. It was always a matter of having either no time to do the work (no chance another contractor be paid to rip us off!) or unpaid time off from work meaning no money to invest in the projects.

My dad was plumber and we had to flush toilet in the spare bath with a bucket of water for years so I understand this mindset completely and it never bothered me especially because Jim really like doing creative, hands on things,  like the pool deck, beautiful built in bookcases and putting a window in my studio so I could  have north light..wonderful things. Not practical things.

Now the list of practical needs has piled up to the point where I look at those "I BUY  UGLY HOUSES" signs and think "I got a peach for ya, buddy".

I've decide that it's my mindset that's ugly and I'm going to have to get real and get creative about putting my house in order.

 Last night, a dear friend almost lost her home to a fire. The building itself was saved, but her beloved pets were not. Why does it take a kick in the gut to wake us up?

There are forms to be filled out, research to do and  lists to be made.