Saturday, February 16, 2019

self pep-talks are good.

(from  Tuesday, March 17, 2015)

nailing it

If you are any kind of creative every now and again you'll step back from what you are up to and go “Yes!” or “Good!” or, in my case “Fuckin' Aaa!” and you'll throw down the tools and get that little chill and be thirsty for a celebration because you nailed it. You won't even feel the need to drag anyone into the moment for their agreement. This moment is for you alone.

Last night I was pondering the demise of the writers group that I've been going to for a little more than a year now. The two founders have drifted away. Life, of course, must take precedence over follies like gathering over bad food with snotty waiters and embarrass ourselves and each other with our attempts at writing and so the group has floundered. It's been a learning experience and my only semi-social connection to the world since my husband died. I will be looking for another bunch of similarly plagued individuals and if I can't find what I'm looking for, I'll found my own.

So I made the mistake of looking over a bit of the book I've been working on for almost a year. I worked on it constantly while I was at the FOF retreat last year in FL. 

The writing was puffy, awkward and self-indulgent. I was bummed thinking how I thought I was closing in on a rough draft when all I really had behind me was clouds crap. I sulked and went to bed. The last thing I remember was that there were a couple of lines out of some twelve pages that were really good. Keepers.

In the dark hour before waking, on a day when I didn't have to get up, I turned that chapter inside out in my head. I had a sit down with each of the characters. Assessed their needs and their wants. Established who knew what, when and why it mattered. Addressed the problems and found answers, all before ever putting my toes on the rug.

I've got this and knowing it feels great.


Liz A said...

I am great believer in letting the subconscious write ...

Deb Lacativa said...

That's so true, but when it comes to editing and rewriting you have to be so present and focused it's exhausting.

Today I opted for hard labor rather than spend too much (unproductive) time at the keyboard. I single-handedly (because I really hurt my left shoulder) stripped the sheets, turned the king-sized mattress (it's a physics trick) and, the toughest part - changed the duvet cover on the down quilt.

Joanne S said...

Oh, turning a kingsized mattress--the older heavy ones--it is a physics problem. Angles.
Torque. Our new one has a warning--Do Not Turn. And they mean it. Every three months I give it a right hand turn. and that's it. We'll see. But my back and arms appreciate it.

My dream thoughts--if I could just catch and work them out--are trying so hard to tell me something. I wake up wondering where I am. Who I am. Where I've been overnight. It is so damn strange. I'm not scared--I'm just not who I was in my dreams.

Ms. said...

Sounds fine....the work, editing head trips to satisfaction. I'll look up The Amherst Method and see if anyone is facilitating a group within your reach. The workshops I've been attending for decades use the method and the participants in my particular group are survivors of one traumatic scene, disease or loss. The rules are sort of that everything is treated as fiction even if the writer announces it's memoir. Comments are restricted to "what I liked or remember particularly' if the writer chooses to share. Prompts are given but anyone can just write whatever they are concerned with at the moment. They are times which is useful and keeps things moving along. Maybe that's not your cup of tea...but I'll look and email you if I have your address. Meanwhile, congrats on a good moment.

Ms. said...

More--my group got very social and some are deeper friends now. My situation is sponsored so Free. There are many free groups.

Deb Lacativa said...

Thanks, Michelle - that post was a retread from 2015. I've since connected informally with a few local writers who are roughly in the same place as authors - making forward progress towards publication, one way or another. The group I left, are still treading water the way they were four years ago. Time to grow!

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

i've had a very few of those STELLAR moments with cloth...i
treasure them